Gentle Persistence

Working with wise effort in meditation begins with first remembering to practice and then having the discipline to actually get to the cushion. It’s so easy to put off practice until the “right” time. But really, it’s probably always the right time to pause, notice the breath, and get a sense of the body whether standing, sitting, walking or lying down. (I have found this especially useful while waiting in what I thought would be the fastest grocery check-out line.) This simple act, which takes less than five seconds, relaxes the mind and momentarily stops whatever storyline has captivated my thoughts. It brings me into the present moment. And, it takes mindful awareness to pay attention and even more effort to remember to stick with it, kind of like training a dog!

Meditation practice is first about remembering to pay attention, to come back to this moment, this breath, a zillion times over. With gentle persistent effort, a certain kind of meditation muscle develops. We become more skilled at settling the mind and body even in the midst of stress and distraction. Like training in any discipline, the mind-body gets to know that when it assumes the meditation posture, it more easily arrives, settles, and relaxes into present-moment awareness.

This is not to say that once we’re meditating our work is done. I think it’s just the opposite. Wise and skillful effort during practice helps notice the conditions that give rise to both positive and negative, wholesome and unwholesome mental states, like contentment and ease versus anger and fear. While all mental states are true in the moment, in this training, we develop the capacity to see these states for what they are, know the difference sooner than later, and learn to let go of the negative and nurture the positive.

Even if we can’t “let go” of negative or unhelpful mind states, we learn to let them be. I find this very helpful. When I am caught in difficult thoughts or emotions, if I remind myself to just let them be for now, the inflammation calms and my mind relaxes. There will be a time when I’ll likely have the perspective and skills to work with those thoughts and emotions, but I’m not required to jump off a cliff without a parachute.

Cultivating wise effort through meditation practice is mostly about showing up, doing the practice, and seeing what’s true.

We are not required to be hopeful or hopeless. We are required to just show up for what is. To bear witness. This is how we cultivate the capacity to endure and witness suffering.

                                            Joanna Macy

Wise Effort – True North

Carrying forward the spirit and intention of the ethical practices, we move into the wisdom aspect of the Eightfold Path. This includes wise effort, wise concentration and wise mindfulness. In reality, though, each factor of the Path is dependent upon the others in order to make an integrated whole; wise effort is dependent upon wise understanding, which is dependent upon wise mindfulness, which is dependent upon wise action, etc.

Cultivating skillful, wholesome mind-states, (a mind that is peaceful, flexible and not in contention with the conditions of one’s life), while learning to recognize and then abandon unwholesome, unskillful mind-states (greed, ill-will, and ignorance) is how the Buddha defined Wise Effort.

Whether in meditation or daily life, this requires patient, steady, persistent mindfulness along with a generosity of spirit that allows for trial and error, ups and downs, messing it up and getting it right. The bottom line is that when my efforts are wise, ethical and clear, I’ll likely not cause harm to myself or anyone around me, and I’m much more likely to make good considered choices and decisions.

In meditation practice, wise effort requires the willingness to stay present with whatever arises, breath-by-breath, moment-by nonjudgmental-moment. Gentle persistence is my favorite way of thinking about this kind of effort. Sometimes in meditation when I feel my energy waning, my attention drifting, or when I’m trying too hard to stay focused and feel my mind and body tighten, I think “gentle persistence…come back…feel the breath…relax…begin again.” Using any of those words or just getting the internal sense of the words re-directs my efforts, buoys up the energy and strengthens my resolve. Just as with daily life, meditation practice requires continual adjustment and fine tuning.

With respect to wise effort in daily life, I like to use the following questions to help steer and clarify my thinking. I think of them as compass questions. You may recognize them from earlier discussions.

What, when I do it, will be for my long-term welfare and happiness?

This is a very grounding question the Buddha recommended to access one’s deepest wisdom. It helps avoid impulsivity and reactivity and their potentially harmful consequences. It is a guide towards an appropriate response.

What has become clear since last we met?

This is a great question that comes from Ralph Waldo Emerson. It’s very helpful in looking back at patterns, decisions, outcomes, clarifying what’s happening, what’s okay, what needs to be changed. You can adapt it for yourself, i.e., “what has become clear since last time….this issue arose?” etc.

What makes me come alive?

My experience is that this changes over time, but that I feel most alive, engaged and happy when I am living and working in line with my values, and doing what feels right in my heart and supports my well-being. As Howard Thurman said, “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs are people who have come alive.”

What evokes my reverent heart?

We stand in reverence when we have those experiences that take our breath away, those times that we’re stopped in our tracks from an experience of beauty, joy, love or peace. I have a sense that the connection we feel at those moments are among the deepest and most profound. By staying connected to our reverent heart, we live with great respect and dignity for ourselves and others.

For me, Wise Effort is true north. How we use our efforts has far reaching implications, and this discussion just scratches the surface.

Pausing to Breathe

As we finish up the exploration of the ethical practices of the Eightfold Path, it could be easy to look at wise speech, wise action and wise livelihood as a set of guidelines about what not to do. Here is a lovely way to approach the ethical precepts from a more positive stance. This comes from James Baraz in his beautiful book, Awakening Joy. Instead of:

Don’t Kill: Honor All Life

Don’t Steal: Share Your Time and Resources

Don’t Misuse Sexuality: Take Care with Sexual Energy, Respecting Boundaries and Offering Safety

Don’t use Harsh Speech: Speak Kindly and Carefully

Don’t use Intoxicants that Cause Heedlessness: Develop a Clear Mind and Health Body

These ethical precepts are life-long practices that require ardency, dedication, constancy, and the willingness to show up for our lives by truly paying attention. We may never get it exactly right, but that’s not really the point. The point is to live our lives with the intention towards goodwill and harmlessness for ourselves and others. And hopefully with practice, we’ll do that more often than not.

So, taking a breath this week to relish the last week of summer and the coming of fall, here’s a poem printed in the current issue of The Sun magazine.

Thinking

Don’t you wish they would stop,

all the thoughts swirling around in your head like

bees in a hive, dancers tapping their way across the stage?

I should rake the leaves in the carport, buy Christmas lights.

Is there really life on Mars? What will I cook for dinner?

There’s frost on the front lawn, dry branches

on the stoop. I walk up the driveway to put out the garbage

and think: I should stop using plastic bags,

call my friend whose husband just left her for the nanny

from Sweden, a place I might like to visit.

I wish I hadn’t said Patrick’s painting looked “ominous.”

Maybe that’s why he hasn’t answered my e-mails.

Does the car need oil? There’s a hole in the ozone

the size of Texas, and everything seems to be speeding up.

Come, let’s stand by the window and look out

at the light on the field. Let’s watch how

the clouds cover the sun, and almost nothing

stirs in the grass.

~Danusha Lameris

Wise Livelihood

Following Wise Speech and Wise Action, the third of the ethical practices of the Eightfold Path is Wise Livelihood. In the foundational teachings of the Buddha, Wise Livelihood is defined as earning one’s living through wholesome avenues, those that do not bring harm to oneself or others. One’s work should be legal, peaceful, and honest; without coercion or violence, manipulation or deceit. Additionally, any profession or occupation that violates wise speech or wise action is a wrong form of livelihood as it inherently causes harm.[1] As an example, one can be skilled at wise speech but be involved in the illegal drug or weapons trade. This would be both wrong action and wrong livelihood, and therefore breech the Buddhist ethical practices.  

Wise livelihood is not only defined by how our work affects others, but also how it affects us. As I think back over the last 30 years of my working life, my most difficult time was while I was a nurse working in the hospital setting. While from the outside nursing appears to be the epitome of wholesomeness (and in many ways I believe it is), for me it was fraught with so many bumps and bruises characteristic of unhealthy work-place interpersonal dynamics; competition, distrust, poor communication, difficult hours, jealousy, and lack of advocacy all within the confines of a demeaning hierarchical political structure while facing straight-on the frailty of life and certainty of death, every moment of every day. 

It didn’t work for me, and it was painful to face the truth that the profession I had chosen was hurting me and by extension, my young family. I was really suffering. It was such a relief early one morning when I came home from a night shift barely able to keep my eyes open thoroughly exhausted and feeling demoralized when my husband said, “You know…you don’t have to do this work.”

Right there was the truth of impermanence, the truth of suffering, and the truth of karma. Things could and would change, I was in pain, and my happiness and unhappiness was so clearly dependent upon my own actions and no one else’s wishes for me. Either I was going to do something about it or stay stuck in the muck. It was actually pretty good news! I did leave hospital nursing and I’ve never looked back. Because we spend so much of our lives working, if we can make the wise choices that translate to a wise livelihood and a happier life, we may as well give it a try.

One of the core teachings of the Buddha is cultivating the capacity to know the difference between skillful and unskillful action; those that lead to our long-term welfare and happiness and those that lead to further distress and suffering. In times of self-reflection you can ask yourself “What, when I do it, will lead to my long-term welfare and happiness?”[2] It’s a great question. It accesses your deepest wisdom. Another way to ask this same question might be to say “What would my 85 year-old self tell me to do?” I hope that by the time I’m 85, I will have reached the fullness of my wisdom.

When I was young and was asked the proverbial question “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I would bristle and think ‘I just want to be myself.’ My mother used to say “Find out what you’re good at and do it for all you’re worth.” That was pretty good, but it still didn’t quite get me to the core.  I think one of the most useful questions for teasing out one’s path comes from Howard Thurman. He said,

              

"Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs are people who have come alive." 

If we can tap into and develop our passion, what really makes us come alive, I believe we each have a much better chance of spending our lives doing what brings out our most wise, effective and happy selves.

---

[1] Bhikkhu Bodhi, The Noble Eightfold Path; Way to the End of Suffering, 1994.

[2] Thanissaro Bhikku, Selves & Not Self, 2011

Wise Action

The thought manifests as the word
The word manifests as the deed
The deed develops into habit
And the habit hardens into character
So watch the thought and its ways with care
And let it spring from love
Born out of concern for all beings

This is one of my favorite pieces of wisdom from the Buddha because I think it’s really true. I know that when my mind thinks caring and kind thoughts, my speech and actions will likely follow suit. I feel clear and at ease. Or if my mind is caught in contention with whatever is happening, I hope I’ll have enough restraint and wisdom to keep from acting in a harmful way.

In the classical Buddhist teachings of the Noble Eightfold Path, Wise or Right Action are those actions that are rooted in harmlessness. The Buddha gives specific guidelines in the form of precepts; a code of ethical conduct to be followed by lay Buddhist practitioners. Really, they aren’t so specific to Buddhism; they’re simply the skillful and harmless way of living. You’ll recognize them.

1.      Abstain from taking life; don’t kill

2.      Abstain from taking anything that has not been freely given; don’t steal

3.      Abstain from the misuse of sexuality

4.      Abstain from using harmful or false speech; don’t lie

5.      Abstain from the use of intoxicants to the degree that the mind becomes clouded and causes heedlessness

At first glance, these precepts seem quite obvious, but in actuality they may be more difficult to carry out. How far do we take not killing? What about the ants carrying aphids to the artichoke plants or string beans in the garden? What about that magazine on the table in the waiting room at the dentist’s office that has an article you’d like to read? And how do we express our sexuality and in what environments? How about the time we said something in public that was told to us in confidence and caused a friend humiliation? And, the consequences of drinking too much or using other intoxicants are well-known.

Our actions really do have consequences, whether in the immediate or somewhere down the line. This is the law of karma. In fact, karma translates as action. I remember a difficult time in my life many years ago when I desperately wanted to be in relationship with a person who did not share my sentiments. I did everything I could think of to change the situation, but nothing worked. In fact, nearly every encounter I had brought me pain, seemingly endless pain. One day a trusted friend said it was like watching me repeatedly sit in a four-legged chair that was missing a leg. Each time I sat in that broken chair, I fell on the ground.

The Buddha taught that our happiness and unhappiness are dependent upon our own actions, not on anyone else’s wishes for us. This is what it means to be the heir to our own karma. The truth that we really can and do directly influence our lives through our own actions is a profoundly liberating statement. When our motivations and intentions come from harmlessness and goodwill, we are likely to act wisely. I find that when I really pay attention, I am my own best guide making the best choices I can. Abraham Lincoln said it well,

   “When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That is my religion.”

Here is a wonderful piece from Portia Nelson, the 20^th C musician, artist, and writer. It so perfectly illustrates how our actions become habit and how by really noticing and being deliberate we can actually make a different choice, perhaps the wiser choice.

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

 Chapter One

I walk down the street.

There's a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I am lost…. I am helpless.

It isn't my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter Two

I walk down the same street.

There's a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don't see it.

I fall in again.

I can't believe I am in this the same place!

But, it isn't my fault.

And it still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter Three

I walk down the same street.

There's a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there.

I still fall in... it's a habit…but,

my eyes are open.

I know where I am.

It is my fault.

I get out immediately.

Chapter Four

I walk down the same street.

There's a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.

Chapter Five

I walk down a different street. 

from There's a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery