Thank You

If the only prayer you say in your entire life is ‘Thank You,’ that would suffice.

-Meister Eckhart (1260-1329)

It’s Thanksgiving week, and a good time to think a little more about gratitude.

I recently spent a day hiking in the desert near Joshua Tree with Sachi, a woman from Burma, formerly a Bhikkuni (Buddhist nun), who struck me as the most naturally happy, at ease, and fully present person I've met in a long time.

We hiked up and down through vast stretches of huge monzogranite boulders, in and around dry creek beds, and through prickly dry shrubs trying to avoid the stinging needles of the cholla cactus as we climbed to the top of Black Mountain. There were the black twisted trunks of fallen ancient mesquite trees, the blooming Flaming Red Penny Desert Fuchsia coming out of an unlikely crevice, and the massive rock formations that had their own unofficial names like The Sphinx, Split Rock, Falling Rock, and The Penguin that served as land marks to guide our way back.

At one point from the bottom of a draw, when we saw a young mule deer with a budding rack up above us, Sachi stretched her arms above her head, waved her hands and called out “thank you….thank you!” She said thank-you many times that day, particularly whenever she felt astonished or taken by the beauty around us. Her natural gratitude and keen awareness were inspiring and I think, have a lot to do with her happiness. It made me stop and think about my own awareness and expression of gratitude.

Happiness, or a sense of well-being and gratitude are inextricably bound. I think it’s impossible to feel happiness without being grateful for something or someone. Likewise, having gratitude or feeling grateful brings about a sense of contentment and well-being that defines happiness. This is not to say that we cannot feel sadness and gratitude. But in the moment of tapping into gratitude, no matter what’s going on, any state of distress decreases. Try it out sometime.

Here’s what Norman Fischer writes in his new book Training in Compassion, Zen Teachings on the Practice of Lojong. Lojong are the Tibetan Buddhist mind training slogans.

Be Grateful to Everyone is to cultivate every day this sense of gratitude, the happiest of all attitudes. Unhappiness and gratitude simply cannot exist in the same moment. If you feel grateful, you are a happy person. If you feel grateful for what is possible for you in this moment, no matter what your challenges are, grateful, first that you are alive at all, that you can think, that you can feel, that you can stand, sit, walk, talk-if you feel grateful, you are happy and you maximize your chances for well-being and for sharing happiness with others.

As we come into the holidays, it can be easy to get overwhelmed by the demands of our consumer culture and difficult to find a way to participate that feels genuine and balanced. Practicing gratitude by pausing, noticing and taking in moments of well-being, or just thinking of someone you care for can go a long way. And if you’re not feeling especially well, try thinking of something that brings you joy and contentment. The memory of well-being itself can have a profound effect on your state of mind.

There are two ways to live your life: one is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is a miracle.   

 -Albert Einstein

Early morning light on the monzogranite boulders

In keeping with the theme of connecting with the reverent heart, here is a poem by W.H. Auden that is one of my favorites.

Song

The chimney sweepers

Wash their faces and forget to wash the neck;

The lighthouse keepers

Let the lamps go out and leave the ships to wreck;

The prosperous baker

Leaves the rolls in hundreds in the oven to burn;

The undertaker

Pins a small note on the coffin saying “Wait till I return,

I’ve got a date with Love.”

And deep-sea divers

Cut their boots off and come bubbling to the top;

And engine-drivers

Bring expresses in the tunnel to a stop;

The village rector

Dashes down the side-aisle half-way through a psalm;

The sanitary inspector

Runs off with the cover of the cesspool on his arm-

To keep a date with Love.

W.H. Auden

I am currently on vacation with my husband hiking in both Joshua Tree and Death Valley National Parks for the next two weeks. There is beauty around every turn and the desert stillness is nearly indescribable. This photo was taken in Joshua Tree. 

Collecting & Gathering

We commonly think of the concentrated mind as the kind we think we need while driving in rush hour traffic in an unfamiliar city trying to find the way to an important meeting, when our partner starts talking about the details of last night’s dinner. In this moment one might easily snap and blurt out “Be quiet so I can concentrate! Now, I just missed the exit!” Focusing the attention on one thing to the exclusion of everything else is sometimes exactly what’s necessary, but when it comes with a lot of tension, rigidity and constriction, it may not be entirely effective or without unintended consequences.

The capacity of the mind to collect and gather itself in order to direct and sustain its focus for an extended period of time in a relaxed manner is skillful wise concentration, the last factor on the Eightfold Path. This kind of concentration is expansive, at ease and leads to deepening states of calm and happiness. This is a mind that can take it all in without contention or getting carried off on tangents. It is also the capacity of mind to quiet down sufficiently to really notice and hang out with whatever is happening, which cultivates insight and wisdom, the purpose of mindfulness. Ajaan Geoff, an American Theravadan Buddhist monk says 

"Mindfulness is what keeps remembering where to stay focused and what to keep doing. Concentration is what maintains the steadiness of your gaze."

Here’s a story by Gil Fronsdal from his book A Monastery Within about the challenges of cultivating a concentrated mind.

Distractions

              A young monk complained of having too many distractions to be able to meditate. He explained to the Abbess that he had tried every possible approach to overcome the distractions. He had redoubled his efforts at concentration. He had been diligent in trying to let the distractions go. He had also tried many antidotes, including ignoring them. When none of these approaches worked he even tried turning toward the distractions to include them as part of the meditation. He had also investigated the reactions, feelings, and beliefs he had in relation to the distractions. None of this had helped. He remained plagued.

               “In that case, said the Abbess, “there remains only one thing for you to do. Please gaze upon the distractions with kindness and be still.”

One of the purposes of extended silent meditation retreats is to intentionally and deliberately cultivate a quiet and concentrated mind often by attending to the breath in both sitting and walking meditation. Having recently returned from a ten-day retreat, I learned, once again, just how difficult it is to sustain this practice. Sometimes it’s difficult to sustain the attention for three minutes, let alone day after day. The mind really is like a puppy needing constant training to sit and stay. And, when it does quiet down, the rewards are beautiful. An ease-filled concentrated mind accommodates pain and joy, feels and knows happiness as its natural state, and softens and opens the heart. 

"The mind, hard to control,

Flighty-alighting where it wishes-

One does well to tame.

The disciplined mind brings happiness."

   -The Buddha, The Dhammapada

As I think about ways of spontaneously experiencing the concentrated, still, unencumbered and uplifted mind outside of meditation, I think about experiences that bring about reverence and awe. I love the question “What evokes my reverent heart?”  

Last year my husband, Bill, and I went to a k.d. lang concert.  Towards the end she sang an acapella version of Leonard Cohen’s “Halleluiah.” It was so beautiful, so exquisite that the audience was stunned into silence, a state of utter concentration. There was nothing else going on in those moments except the rapture of this angelic voice singing this perfectly beautiful song.  At the end of the piece no one clapped, no one cheered, and as if we were all part of the same gathered and collected mind everyone just stood up in total and complete awe and reverence for what we’d just heard. Finally, after a long concentrated silence, the audience erupted in cheers and applause.

I believe we stand in reverence when we have those experiences that take our breath away, those times that we’re stopped in our tracks from an experience of beauty, joy, love or peace. I have a sense that the connections we feel at those moments are among the deepest and most profound. By staying connected to reverence, we stay connected to our innately clear mind and good heart. This, too, is wise concentration.